We fought over a family issue last night. And then I had a long night with my baby. My baby is just three months and he didn’t allow me to rest a bit the whole night.
8 am. My husband woke up.
But it had been seven hours that I was awake. I hadn’t slept throughout the night for a bit.
However, due to the fight I was not in the right mood to talk to my husband.
But, he walked up to me and said, “You should go and take some rest. You look stressed. I will skip work today since you were awake the whole night, I’ll be at home and take care of our baby.”
I broke down to hear this, I never could imagine anyone skipping work or missing a routine only to make me feel better.
Why suddenly I had this feeling that I had been blaming a man who was my child’s father. All this while blaming him for something he couldn’t do. All this while letting him know of his responsibilities. All through this telling him he called for everything that’s happening. All this while just trying to tell him he could be better.
How did I forget that this wasn’t my journey alone? This wasn’t a road I took alone. Did I have to be reminded it was him first and not me who wanted this baby? He always wanted to bring more love and reduce space between us. He wanted to bring more joys, joys of our own, for a lifetime. How could I not see that he was there. After all, he was one to stay up hearing how my day was like after a long hectic day. I somewhere forgot to ever ask if his job was keeping him happy. Was I in my own little world, of being a mommy and assuming I was raising him alone?
All this while I saw what he couldn’t do. But just missed to see that he had been strong, holding me wherever I fell weak. Watching me breakdown was never easy for him. But he saved the relation by doing those chores I never bothered to appreciate him for. Never forgetting to stick up to-dos that I don’t miss to eat my medicines, stocking grocery at all times and always pre-ordering the stock of diapers.
Sometimes situations change us and sometimes we change the situations. I would rather never wish to change a past that will always remind me that my spouse is the best. And I am blessed to have him.
Thank you won’t be enough but I still wish to say it. For all those times, I want to thank you for sufficing the role of my mother, my mother-in-law, my sister, my friends and most importantly a doting dad.