Everything looks the same, perhaps it is not. Everything looks okay, perhaps it is not.
How do you tell someone that you are not “okay” and the hustle of being in this role is leading you to burnout?
It took me a while to understand my own phase. You don’t expect yourself to be in a mental shit. Do you? And then one fine day, you figure out, you aren’t the same. I had to be “honest” to myself to realise this. I had to honestly ask myself and the answer was “yes”.
Pandemic, homeschooling, being a mom of two (4 &1), emotional drain out, physical drain out, parental pressure, work-life balance, exhaustion, anxiety, feeling overwhelmed and baby blues pushed me to enter my rough patch. I couldn’t find joy in what I was doing. All I was doing was constantly doing things without contentment.
No break, no interlude, no breather.
The demands of being a mother just began to exceed my capacity to satisfy the needs of my children. Running a home and being a successful parent is not as easy as we very publicly speak sitting at a coffee shop.
Gladly, I understood I was falling in a pit and wanted a hand to pull me out. We have our journeys. And trust me you cannot walk for mine. We all need to find our calling. So when the colours of life began fading to grey, I woke up and dealt with it. I wanted to be okay. I wanted to feel myself. I wanted to survive for my kids. And I wasn’t ready to accept the way I was turning.
Sharing with all of you what paved my way to overcome this feeling of slow postpartum depression, if I may call it so. These life-altering changes often send me reminders of how much I love my children and how indebted I was to be their mother.
✔️ I reduced my expectations of myself. It pushed me to realise I was creating paraphernalia of pressure. We expect ourselves to be great at everything. But good also works.
✔️ I made my life to be more about myself. It isn’t selfish. It is important for survival. Honestly, you can spend 24 hours happily without a few minutes to yourself. Do what you love.
✔️ I journaled. I practised gratitude. Amidst all the chaos, I let go of my calm. But I had more to be thankful for than whining for what I couldn’t.
✔️ I went into a zone of “full acceptance”. It brought peace to me. I began to unlearn by the way of nature it was difficult for me to change people, things and routines around myself. I accepted the truth in broad day sunlight.
✔️ I changed my perspective. Every morning I reminded myself, I am in my best zone. I prospered my functionality, workability and productivity.
✔️ I began to Coexist. Coexistence is possible. Nevertheless, it’s hard. You have to give up on a lot of things. But it’s wiser than the cost of your mental health. You got to make things that conclude in your happiness.
Sending some solace and strength to all those who have been there or are going through this phase. Before you give up on your journey, try hard and ask yourself “what could you do to come back to life”. The answer lies inside us.